


The Curse of Consciousness

by Enigma3000



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Angst, Because I cannot bear to read it, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, I was supposed to sleep an hour and a half ago, I'm not responsible for. Whatever this is, It's 4 am do I look like I'm at my best, M/M, POV Inanimate Object, Pls just, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This fic was written by samosaoncrack, This is the one fic I am posting unedited, This is why im failing my boards, What am I doing, i don't know what this is, this is the humour I keep filtered from smzsmemes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigma3000/pseuds/Enigma3000
Summary: Smzs from a sentient kaali gobi perspectiveThis is a crack ficThe misleading title was on purpose.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	The Curse of Consciousness

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this entirely on sleep deprivation. Hate it here.

**September 2nd, 2018, 9:00 am:**

It is chaos, every which way I see. Perhaps a metaphor for life itself- how, no matter how many rules and restrictions humans appear to apply to themselves, their very nature dictates that they shed all false constructs of human behaviour and revert to their truest state- of chaos.

It is a curious thing, to be seeing the supposed smartest creature to grace mother earth with their footfalls, fling my siblings across a wall and into the backyard that lies ahead.

Like monkeys

Flinging their

Uh

Let's just say f word that isn't fruits.

And for what. 

Oh they say it's because they were cheated into buying and consuming defective gobis.

Fuck okay carry on. Stick it to the man I believe in you.

Where was I.

Right.

My kin.

I can do nothing for them, as they soar aimlessly through the air like doves on coke after a heavy lunch of an entire pasta pizza

That is pizza

But the topping is pasta

Delicious.

Anyway.

Pain is all I know.

Helplessness abounds.

My sister mackaylalynnlouisa 

Hits a boy's face

He cries. I am torn between expressing concern and saying mood because that was really fucking funny oh my god his glasses fell off his face help

Also.

I am dard.

I pray to the silent, neglectful heavens that I don't-.

Fucking great I'm soaring through the air too now I fucking hate it here.

I land in front of a pretty girl. In a bowl full of haldi. She is not pleased to see me, or please that I finished dousing her in yellow like traditions dictate.

But like. Quicker. More efficiently. They don't see that.

They never will.

If pride is a sin, they shall remain sinless.

For they're not proud of me.

Lmao

Ow.

And also.

I am now yellow 

D 

I

S

G

U

S

T

I

N

G

* * *

**September 2nd, 2018, 9:15 am** :

A disgruntled man hands me back to the one who calls himself my creator. He is displeased with me. I am also displeased with me. so like ok I guess.

Shankar Tripathi. That is what this man calls himself. His hubris has grown strong enough to believe he can play god and get away with it, that he can change what is utterly natural and bend it to his liking, that he can evade genetic code and change something to its very core- his arrogance has led him to believe it is more appropriate to enforce an arbitrary standard on the natural order of love and life, rather than to simply accept it in its entirety. He believes in fixing what was never broken

Perhaps this is a metaphor for something 

I do not know

For I am stupit

All I care about 

Are the demons within

I mean I've got crazy worms in me bhai send help

* * *

**September 3rd 2018, 8:00 pm** :

My life has come to its conclusive end. I lie floating aimlessly in the gravy bowl, like a deflated beachball that's still too light to float down fully but kinda just floats on top yknow? Floats like a stick in the water. The kind of stick that isn't too weird and long to sink do it just sort of floats on top of a pond. Kind of like a lilypad. The kind thats- okay I see what I'm doing here

I shall stop

metaphors are quicksand and I am a sprinting child with no adult supervision

Fuck

I did it

Once again

Oh no

Bear with me. I am a vegetable.

I am part of something bigger than I am now, part of a rather delicious aloo Gobi recipe, though I imagine the black isn't visually appealing.

Colourism

Colourism everywhere

Oddly enough, it is in losing myself to a bigger purpose that gave me individuality more than attempting to be a lone wolf ever did. It is staggering, how one is often more likely to find themselves when they attempt to lose themselves. It's as though, shedding one's rigid sense of self involves a sacrifice of social constructs and constraints, which relies far too much on independence and solitude. But willingly becoming part of something bigger is an exercise in freedom and in finding your own purpose.

But like.

The fuck do I know 

Im a defective gobi

In a questionably hygienic container

In a pretty girl's marriage. To a guy who once called history "current events"

Lol

Skskkd

I float another few seconds.

And then 

Suddenly

The atmosphere in the room changes. Because-

The tiny one kisses the less tiny one (he's not that tall he's like 5'9" at best. Heard him telling a guest he's 5'10 though. Liar ass.)

mhm

yes nice

Eat him.

But wait. What's this. The less tiny boy is dragged away

Oh no

Homophobia.

Tiny boy seems close to tears

Don't cry tiny boy :(

* * *

**September 4th, 2018, 2:30 pm** :

AAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY ARE THERE SO FUCKING MANY PIGEONS FUCKING HATE IT HERE

oh shit that guy just got his ass beat and passed out is he ok-

DEAR GOD WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING PIGEONS

FUCK YOU RAINBOW MAN

* * *

**September 5th, 2018, 8:30 pm** :

He's sad, the boy who roughly and angrily grabs me out of the basket I was just calmly sitting and minding my own business in, while sobbing rather loudly and shaking like a leaf. Also he keeps whispering to himself how this isn't fair.

I can't tell why, tbh, but I feel like he's sad.

He dumps me in the hands of my creator, and shamelessly provides his own monologue about how I've secretly been a metaphor this entire time for his smol, annoyingly sanskaari boyfriend. Like I'm not right there or something. The fuck bro.

I feel like I am a plot device

With no real meaning

Or purpose

Of my own

Ouch.

He looks suggestively at him (at the boyfriend, not the tinier horse he's on, that would be weird and wrong) which seems to indicate that there's a secret hidden meaning to his words.

"Yeh aapka science, or yeh aapki nature"

Oh

Thank fuck

Finally

Someone realised I'm being eaten slowly from the inside.

Get the worms out pls.

But anyway. Back to the monologue.

I think the sad rainbow whore is trying to say

His boyfriend

Is secretly Gobi under his skin.

Idk not sure 

Shankar Tripathi stares at me, like he's unsure what to make of my beauty. Or that he's horrified. Or he left the stove on. I am bad at this.

And then he

Fucking THROWS ME AWAY AGAIN I deSPISE IT HERE.

Gaand ka chhed.

I almost hit sad hoodie boy

But then

I don't

Goddamnit.

* * *

**September 6th, 2018, 9:30 am** :

Oh

This is it

The supreme court

Said gay rights.

:')

It's a beautiful sight, to see two souls bound by as deep and profound a bond as this, not having to hide it anymore. There isn't a single unhappy face in the backyard, (except Shankar but fuck him)

They hug, and hold each other close like they never intend to let go. The love that burns alight between them as their gazes meet is enough to dull the sun himself.

Ew.

Get a fucking room.

Everyone cheers for the two boys they love like they mean it. Happiness you feel for another can become your own if you love them hard enough, I've come to notice. True, unconditional love can put out even the strongest fires of hatred and prejudice.

Speaking of which.

I am on fire.

Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Why did you read this. Thanks 🥺.


End file.
